Monday, April 30, 2012


There is this girl I know she's graduating with her MBA. She juggled work marriage n school. Why can't I find it in myself to create a balance? I just feel so inadequate and I hear Daddy's voice in the back of my head reinforcing the feeling. Does it make me a bad person that I see her success and I feel ashamed/jealous to the point I avoid her. What can I say I run from problems.

Looking at her stirs my underlying feelings of helplessness.  I just feel like I don't have complete control of my life. I'm just consumed by this crippling feeling of fear when it comes to doing what I need to do to take control. I just need to get over this fear of life.It cripples me and it keeps preventing me from doing what I need to do, to get where I WANT to be. I feel like I'm existing-floating-lost at sea.

God as I go into this week please banish procrastination...remove this feeling of inadequacy and unhappiness....grant me perseverance to do what I need to...and crown my efforts with success amen